The start

The beginning is always a great place to start, right? You know when you're telling a story to someone or confessing to someone you always say, "let me start from the beginning." So this could sort of be my new beginning. My way of starting over. My way of expressing everything without exactly exposing my identity! Wonderful. A way of saying, "dear diary," without all the messy pen marks and tearing of pages. A way of knowing someone out there is reading this and they give a damn! Since things are not exactly falling into my hands like they used to I find myself at a crossroad. I'm at a place where 6 months ago I would have never imagined I would be. What makes it worse is time. I have time and time and more time. Time to think about all the things I'm not doing. No one gets it though. Well at least the people who need to get it (parents) don't get it. I need some sort of inspiration. This first blog entry is all over the place. I guess I just have to get used to it. To writing again, because even though it was an important part of my life at one point, all it does now is frustrate me. I have no reason to write and when I start thinking about it my mind goes on this rollercoaster of emotions and everything starts to build up. Then I get this feeling in my hands like this, "what the hell are you doing, why are you even wasting your time," feeling. I don't feel like I can do anything here. I just wish they understood.